Jamie's Story For the first go-round with cancer I had taken the conservative path of lumpectomy with radiation, which ultimately failed me, so this time I was aggressive. I knew I would have a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction; I just needed to learn how it could be done, and by whom. Research led me to Dr. Gabriel M. Kind in San Francisco, who has performed the DIEP surgery since 1998. He explained the various options, but I easily chose the DIEP procedure and scheduled it for February 6. By the way, state law now requires insurance to pay for all reconstruction. Surgery went without a hitch and finished in about 10 hours, however soon afterward the left breast looked bad, so they returned me to surgery and discovered that a vein had closed (probably weakened by the previous radiation) and caused a thrombosis. Dr. Kind took a vein from my ankle and reconnected the blood supply between the mammary vessel and the flap. He saved the flap, but the breast had nearly doubled in size with clogged blood, so he had to leave the wound open to heal. It looked nasty, but didn’t hurt more than the right breast, and eventually healed. It did require an extra revision surgery to reduce the size for symmetry, after which I had two lovely C cups, with nipples and areola to follow. I can happily report that advancements in pain management made it so that I did not feel the 180 degree abdominal incision for five days—they achieved this by inserting catheters filled with topical painkillers directly into the incision. By the time the catheters were empty I could easily avoid pain by moving cautiously. The other pleasant surprise was the absence of pain when they removed drainage tubes (past experience had me dreading this). A new material for the tubing does not adhere to internal tissue, so it doesn’t feel like your insides are ripping out when the tubes are removed. What an improvement! Except for the extreme nausea in the hospital, the physical suffering was surprisingly easy. I did have a hard time with swelling—not the lymphedema that makes the arms blow up to twice their size, but all through my ribcage and around all of the scars. Dr. Kind referred me to a physical therapist in San Francisco who specializes in post-mastectomy lymph drainage. Her name is Julie Wong, and she is a breast cancer survivor also. Although she did not require a mastectomy, she did experience stubborn swelling and could find no help until she located a specialist in Washington who gave her relief. Julie took his training and now passes the gift on to the rest of us. She calls me her poster child because my case was so difficult and the results were so good. My story is soon to be on her website, which is www.proactivetherapy.com. On the other hand the emotional aftermath was almost unbearable. I am not a stranger to depression and anxiety—I have experienced both, plus I am a psychotherapist and work with sufferers every day. Were this not true I would have thought I was going insane when flashbacks to childhood abuse suddenly erupted weeks after the surgery. While I could not prevent or stop it, at least I understood what was happening to me, and had resources for coping with it. I became miserably dependent on my doctor (he has the patience of Job and very good boundaries). I also had the good sense to call my own therapist to begin the hard work of healing wounds I did not know were there. What an ordeal. I was so overwhelmed for a time that I missed work for two months beyond the post surgery period. Once I stabilized and returned to work, dealing with the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) still required intensive therapy, sweat and tears (no more blood!), but did not sideline me completely again. Two years and a thousand deaths later I have emerged from the “valley of the shadow of death” stronger and healthier than before, both physically and mentally. Neither recovery is automatic; both require patience and effort, but the fruit of the labor is beyond measure. There are losses with the gains. I love my flat tummy and perky breasts. And my bikinis! But I miss the sensitivity of my nipples, a very important erogenous zone. It’s not a tragedy, but it is a terrible loss that continues to pose painful challenges. But even more I love the emotional freedom gained through this “severe mercy.” It has been a journey I would never have signed up for, but I would not trade for anything. My experience is probably not typical, but my prayer is that another lonely traveler will find something in my story that helps her make sense of her own. I sign off with my survivor’s motto: “I am alive . . . and I have cleavage!” -Jamie |
 
Our mission as Independent Agents of Plexus Worldwide, Inc., is saving and enriching lives through early detection and peace of mind. Every three minutes, a woman will be diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States, yet studies show that only 14% of women perform a monthly breast self-exam. Ask a woman you love... “Why?”
In the News |
